I recently read the first few pages of a book titled How to Make Your Life Work: or Why Aren't You Happy by Ken Keyes and was struck by the idea he presents about being addicted to having expectations met which creates chronic unhappiness. I had never thought of it this way, but as I've pondered the thought I have become increasingly aware that, yes, I have this addiction.
Consciously or unconsciously, I have expectations on just about everything. I expect to wake up to a quiet house and to have some alone time before I get going on my day. I expect the people in my family to pick up after themselves. I expect to get places on time. I expect to make good decisions 99.9% of the time. I expect those good decision to reward me with a trouble-free life. Those are the ones on the top this morning. There are a million more swirling around inside of me. Sometimes these expectations are met, but certainly not always.
If I stop and think about my level of unhappiness and where it comes from...I mean, if I really dig down deep I'm pretty sure I'll find that it is floating on top of disappointment that things did not work out the way I expected. This disappointment fuels stress, anxiety, fear, and a host of other toxic emotions that just become a cesspool for chronic dis-ease.
My friend Lisa shared this Tony Robbins quote with me yesterday:
Consciously or unconsciously, I have expectations on just about everything. I expect to wake up to a quiet house and to have some alone time before I get going on my day. I expect the people in my family to pick up after themselves. I expect to get places on time. I expect to make good decisions 99.9% of the time. I expect those good decision to reward me with a trouble-free life. Those are the ones on the top this morning. There are a million more swirling around inside of me. Sometimes these expectations are met, but certainly not always.
If I stop and think about my level of unhappiness and where it comes from...I mean, if I really dig down deep I'm pretty sure I'll find that it is floating on top of disappointment that things did not work out the way I expected. This disappointment fuels stress, anxiety, fear, and a host of other toxic emotions that just become a cesspool for chronic dis-ease.
My friend Lisa shared this Tony Robbins quote with me yesterday:
"Trade your expectation for appreciation and the world changes instantly.”I'm going to start here: when I recognize an expectation I have that hasn't gotten met, I'm going to choose to appreciation instead of some of the other things I've chosen in the past like self-recrimination, blaming, complaining. Care to join me?
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