Sunday, October 12, 2014

My addiction to met expectations

I recently read the first few pages of a book titled How to Make Your Life Work: or Why Aren't You Happy by Ken Keyes and was struck by the idea he presents about being addicted to having expectations met which creates chronic unhappiness.  I had never thought of it this way, but as I've pondered the thought I have become increasingly aware that, yes, I have this addiction.

Consciously or unconsciously, I have expectations on just about everything.  I expect to wake up to a quiet house and to have some alone time before I get going on my day.  I expect the people in my family to pick up after themselves.  I expect to get places on time.  I expect to make good decisions 99.9% of the time.  I expect those good decision to reward me with a trouble-free life.  Those are the ones on the top this morning.  There are a million more swirling around inside of me.  Sometimes these expectations are met, but certainly not always.

If I stop and think about my level of unhappiness and where it comes from...I mean, if I really dig down deep I'm pretty sure I'll find that it is floating on top of disappointment that things did not work out the way I expected.  This disappointment fuels stress, anxiety, fear, and a host of other toxic emotions that just become a cesspool for chronic dis-ease.

My friend Lisa shared this Tony Robbins quote with me yesterday:
 "Trade your expectation for appreciation and the world changes instantly.”
 I'm going to start here: when I recognize an expectation I have that hasn't gotten met, I'm going to choose to appreciation instead of some of the other things I've chosen in the past like self-recrimination, blaming, complaining.  Care to join me?

I've joined the Ultimate Blog Challenge in an attempt to get myself blogging again on a regular basis.  Daily blogging means imperfect posts that often feel uninspired, but there you go.  I'm blogging and that's what I'm going for.

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