Negativity Fast

A couple of weeks ago, the words "negativity fast" were dropped into my spirit and subsequently confirmed in a variety of ways, so last week I started "fasting" from saying negative things to my kids.

It's hard.

I have been more and more convicted of how I correct much more than I praise my kids. They could have the whole room picked up and vacuumed, and I never mention what they have done well. Instead I zero in on the one sock left on the floor or the miniscule piece of trash still on the coffee table. I point out the crumbs they missed on the kitchen counter and the spot still on the bathroom floor. Sigh.

Now, I value a job well-done and part of the correcting comes from that desire to see them learn to do all things well. But when those words are 90% of what they hear from me, I fear that the message I am sending them is not so much about doing a job well but about not ever being good enough.

And that is a terrible burden to be asking them to live under. I need to change the way I'm communicating to them.

My focus this last week has been on appreciating their work and affirming their efforts. I have not been without my share of slip-ups, but over all I can feel the kids relaxing (particularly the older ones) and the atmosphere in our home shifting more to the side of honor and love.

Which is my ultimate goal. I want our home to be full of love and honor for one another, for the things we do and the ways we serve to flow out of a place of desire to love and honor and not from a place of fear of correction and punishment.

These next several weeks, I am shifting the bulk of my communication with my family from words of correction to words of love and honor. Care to join me? Just leave a comment and in the days and weeks ahead, we can encourage one another with testimonies of how God is using this season to rebuild and renew communications within our families.

Psalm 66 - a variation

Shout with joy
Sing the glory
Say to God:
Your deeds are awesome!
Your power is great!
Your enemies cringe!
Come and see what God has done...
He has set my feet on a Rock and placed a new song in my mouth
He has turned my mourning into dancing
Given me a garment of praise and a righteous robe
Praise our God
Let His praises BE HEARD from our lips
An audible sound
A loud sound
A sacrifice of praise
Look at what He's done!
Preserved our lives
Kept our feet from slipping
Tested us
Refined us

I will come with my offerings
In Your presence I will do what I've vowed, what I promised to You when I was in trouble

Come and listen!
Let me tell you what He has done for me:
I cried out to Him
Had praise on my tongue
I chose to turn from unbelief and offense
I did not hold bitterness, unforgiveness and anger in my heart
I refused to cherish sin because He would not have listened to me if I had
But He did listen
He listened and He heard my voice.
He acted on my behalf.

Praise be to God who has not rejected my prayer
Praise be to God who has not withheld His love from me!

Released for more

Thanksgiving always releases more freedom. When I cease focusing on what I can't have, on something gone awry, on perceived lack in my life and instead practice thanksgiving and focus on the good that surrounds me, I am no longer tethered to the dead weight of ungratefulness, negativity and pessimism. I am free to fly on the wings of possibilities with God. I am free to bask in His goodness and to rely on His faithfulness in every situation. I am released for more laughter, more joy, more trust...more God.

Perspective

My prayer today is to become more aware of the intensity and determination of God's commitment to me. He is more passionate, more aware, more concerned about me and my loved ones than I could ever be. I can rest in that, in His everlasting love and His continued faithfulness to me.

On Charlotte Mason

I'm attending a Charlotte Mason seminar this weekend. Charlotte Mason lived in the 1800's and had a "revolutionary" philosophy of education that continues to make waves in educational circles and bring people back to the heart of learning/teaching. I was wondering today if she had any clue when she wrote her 6 volumes on education that her work would still be speaking to people nearly 100 years later.

So, here's quote of hers that I heard today on the importance of forming good habits in ourselves and our children:

The mother who takes pains to endow her children with good habits secures for herself smooth and easy days; while she who lets their habits take care of themselves has a weary life of endless friction with children.

Habits, good ones, that is, are an investment that pay huge dividends on down the road. It is not easy to establish them, and it may seem "easier" to just let habits form themselves. But "easier" today spells lots and lots of hard, hard work later on down the road that could be avoided by taking the pains to form good habits today.

And that, ladies and gentleman, is my main take-away from today's seminar. Tune in tomorrow for another Charlotte Mason update.

Becoming God's Friend

This is true perfection: not to avoid a wicked life because like slaves we servilely fear punishment, nor to do good because we hope for rewards, as if cashing in on the virtuous life by some business-like arrangement. On the contrary, disregarding all those things for which we hope and which have been reserved by promise, we regard falling from God's friendship as the only thing dreadful and we consider becoming God's friend the only thing worth of honor and desire.

~Gregory of Nyssa from Devotional Classics (Foster and Smith), pgs 126-127.

Leaning into love a little more today than yesterday, becoming God's friend.

Just one sentence

I felt the Lord say to me today: "Write every day. Even if it's just one sentence."

In You I put my hope all day long. My salvation comes from You. You alone are my Rock and my Foundation. I will not be put to shame. Because You love me, you will rescue me and place my feet upon a rock, on Your Rock of peace. I have nothing to fear for Your love has rescued me and brought me to a spacious place. The boundary lines for me have fallen in pleasant places.

~prayer from various Psalms