Monday, December 10, 2012

Oh, the chaos

At least that's what it feels like.  Everywhere I turn, there are projects that I need to do.  I had the kids help straighten the house yesterday and they were done in 15 minutes while I was still taking care of something that needed my attention and I still didn't finish it.

The story of my life.

And somehow I tie up into the value of my day and of my worth in what gets accomplish.

I know that is so twisted and I hate that about my perspective.  I think it's slowly changing, though.

One woman who prayed for me had this picture:  God taking my face in His hands and shifting my view from jobs and how well they were/were not getting done to the job do-er and his/her beauty as a person.

It's a hard shift but so very necessary and I've been doing better about seeing my kids in this way but not so much myself.  There's something broken there that needs healing.  The lie says that I'm as valuable as I am productive, which these days is not much.  The truth says that I have value simply because I'm loved by God.

And while my head knows that to be true, I'm still behaving out of the lie and therein lies the chaos, I think.

So, this morning I've lit my candle, had my mug of tea, and cried out for the Shalom peace of God to come bring wholeness and healing to this chaotic thinking that skews worth.  I cry out for you, too.  You who know you can't ever do enough to meet the need and feel the failure day after day.  That's chaos and it's not ours to embrace.

Today, together, let's embrace Shalom that says His peace has come to shatter this darkened way of thinking and to bring life to the broken places.  Let's let Him take our faces in His hands and show us beauty and worth in His us.

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