Sunday, April 24, 2011

A hobby or a call?

for the Essentials In Worship Leading Certificate Course with Dan Wilt

In The Sound of Your Life, Dan Wilt says "Our interior foundations must be able to bear the weight of our spiritual responsibilities." An uncomfortable process, this strengthening of the interior foundations of my life requires allowing God to shine His light on hidden places in my heart. Unbeknownst to me, God would choose a trip to Guitar Center to expose a lie that was weakening my interior foundation.

I was going to pick out the guitar Lee and the kids had given me as a Christmas gift. Lee and my friend Shelby accompanied me to lend their more practiced ears to aid in my selection.

Lee bought me my my first official guitar for my birthday about 8 years ago, and I love it much. (Actually, my first guitar was a borrowed guitar that never got returned, so I don't really count that one. And lest you think I make a habit of not returning things, I did try to return that particular guitar to the original owner but to no avail. But that's another story...) However, one day last summer, my beloved guitar decided to pop it's bridge. I had it repaired, but the warping and bowing occurring on the face of the guitar was irreparable, and she has become increasingly temperamental. Since I am playing and leading worship more frequently, the need for a new instrument was becoming increasingly apparent. Thus, the Christmas gift.

At Guitar Center, we played several different brands and styles of guitars, Shelby and Lee each giving their more trained opinions about the sound of each one. And surprisingly as I played, I became more and more uncomfortable and the point of tears. My sweet husband's generosity and willingness to buy me a guitar beyond what I had imagined coupled with the increasing feeling of insecurity were almost too much for me.

Why are we spending so much money on a guitar for me? I mean, how can I justify the cost of an instrument when it's just a hobby? Doubts and fears and questions surfaced faster than I could process them, and I was ready to leave without the gift, the long-awaited guitar.

Shelby pulled me into a side room, looked me in the eye, and relentlessly pursued the lie (lies?) that she knew was lodged in my heart.

Lie: Leading worship is a hobby.
Truth: It's not a hobby. It's a call on my life.

Another lie: I'm not worthy of this guitar.
The truth: God picked this guitar for me.

And still one more lie: I'm not talented enough to play this guitar.
The truth: That's why I'm taking

I was so thankful to my generous, loving husband and my discerning loving friend who were with me that day. I had no idea buying a guitar would cause so much consternation or bring up a deep-seated lie in my heart.

But now that it's out in the open and the truth has replaced it, I am gaining more confidence in my guitar-playing...and in worship leading. I am trusting God with this call on my life. His plans and purposes for me succeed. I am becoming all He's called me to be.

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