A couple of weeks ago, the words "negativity fast" were dropped into my spirit and subsequently confirmed in a variety of ways, so last week I started "fasting" from saying negative things to my kids.
I have been more and more convicted of how I correct much more than I praise my kids. They could have the whole room picked up and vacuumed, and I never mention what they have done well. Instead I zero in on the one sock left on the floor or the miniscule piece of trash still on the coffee table. I point out the crumbs they missed on the kitchen counter and the spot still on the bathroom floor. Sigh.
Now, I value a job well-done and part of the correcting comes from that desire to see them learn to do all things well. But when those words are 90% of what they hear from me, I fear that the message I am sending them is not so much about doing a job well but about not ever being good enough.
And that is a terrible burden to be asking them to live under. I need to change the way I'm communicating to them.
My focus this last week has been on appreciating their work and affirming their efforts. I have not been without my share of slip-ups, but over all I can feel the kids relaxing (particularly the older ones) and the atmosphere in our home shifting more to the side of honor and love.
Which is my ultimate goal. I want our home to be full of love and honor for one another, for the things we do and the ways we serve to flow out of a place of desire to love and honor and not from a place of fear of correction and punishment.
These next several weeks, I am shifting the bulk of my communication with my family from words of correction to words of love and honor. Care to join me? Just leave a comment and in the days and weeks ahead, we can encourage one another with testimonies of how God is using this season to rebuild and renew communications within our families.