I used to think that anxiety/worry wasn't an issue for me. And it probably wasn't in some more obvious areas. But in smaller, more insidious ways, it was.
Sometimes still is.
Like the time I bite my kid's head off when they ask me something or even talk back to me, but my reaction is way out of proportion to what is actually going on. Usually a sign that I'm anxious.
Or when I tear through the house like a crazed woman looking for that piece of paper that is so incredibly important that I ignore the fact that dinner should've been served an hour ago. Another anxiety marker.
And what about when I start sorting through the piles of books I need to make decisions about and I start to feel overwhelmed and discouraged by the task...anxiety.
For me all of these things and countless others that I haven't even begun to list indicate an anxiety factor in my life that is rooted in the fear that God won't take care of me. Or that I have created too big a mess for Him to manage. That this one problem is beyond His capacity to be God in my life.
What a pack of lies that is!
I've found in preparing for this school year, particularly in regards to entering into that awesome responsibility of teaching my high schooler, that I am incredibly worried. Deep down it's a belief that says that God won't lead me...that He won't continue to be faithful like He's been these past 14 years that I've been a parent.
Argh. Why do I go there again?
Of course, He is faithful. He never changes. And He sure hasn't stopped speaking to me or guiding me. He has no shadow of turning. He's what He says He is. Faithful to the core.
So I'm back to following His commands tonight. I'm throwing all of those things I'm anxious about back at His feet. I'm trusting Him to lead and guide me, to be my children's teacher, to love them like only He can.
I'm believing God.
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
I love the way the Message paraphrases verse 34:
"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."
Philippians 4:6-7 :Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."