To read the story of how we met, got engaged, etc. you can click through these links.
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The rest of the story (or at least the part that's being written) can be found at my other blog .
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Saturday, October 1, 2011
for 17 years: the big day...i-10
August 6th dawned bright and clear, preceded by a fun night with family and friends at our rehearsal dinner, preceded by all manner of showers and parties to equip us with tools to build a home and a life together.
We had premarital counseling with our pastor and an elder couple in our church. We went to an Engaged Encounter weekend through the Catholic Diocese of Dallas. We're actually not Catholic but had heard really good things about the marriage preparation weekend offered by the Catholic Church. I recommend it to every engaged couple I meet. So, so good.
We made it through the planning and the preparation and now were at the moment of execution.
Yep, that's right --- execution. The death of our old lives, our singleness, our selfish ways of living...
We had family and friends from out of town. I even had friends from my heartland of Spain attend, so we had a bi-lingual service, incorporating the help of my Puerto Rican friends.
The service itself was beautiful...so many people cooperating to make our day special - from the music to the flowers to the food...each part was a personal reflection of our lives and the people who loved us.
The best part of the service was when Lee sat down at the piano to play our song. Reminding the crowd that we were now married and that this was now a party (!), he played out the melody and sang to me as I stood by his side.
Then he rose, took my hand, and off we went down the aisle, now husband and wife.
After a flurry of pictures, we were off to the reception where we were greeted and loved on by our many guests. The food was good, the cake magnificent, and I was married to the best man in the whole world. It couldn't get much better than that.
Then finally the time came for us to depart in our blue Chevy pick up, decorated in typical fashion w/ shoe polish and streamers. Rice was thrown, more pictures taken, and with a wave, we were off to begin our new life together.
Next: married life
[i-1] [i-2] [i-3][i-4] [i-5] [i-6] [i-7] [i-8] [i-9]
We had premarital counseling with our pastor and an elder couple in our church. We went to an Engaged Encounter weekend through the Catholic Diocese of Dallas. We're actually not Catholic but had heard really good things about the marriage preparation weekend offered by the Catholic Church. I recommend it to every engaged couple I meet. So, so good.
We made it through the planning and the preparation and now were at the moment of execution.
Yep, that's right --- execution. The death of our old lives, our singleness, our selfish ways of living...
We had family and friends from out of town. I even had friends from my heartland of Spain attend, so we had a bi-lingual service, incorporating the help of my Puerto Rican friends.
The service itself was beautiful...so many people cooperating to make our day special - from the music to the flowers to the food...each part was a personal reflection of our lives and the people who loved us.
The best part of the service was when Lee sat down at the piano to play our song. Reminding the crowd that we were now married and that this was now a party (!), he played out the melody and sang to me as I stood by his side.
Then he rose, took my hand, and off we went down the aisle, now husband and wife.
After a flurry of pictures, we were off to the reception where we were greeted and loved on by our many guests. The food was good, the cake magnificent, and I was married to the best man in the whole world. It couldn't get much better than that.
Then finally the time came for us to depart in our blue Chevy pick up, decorated in typical fashion w/ shoe polish and streamers. Rice was thrown, more pictures taken, and with a wave, we were off to begin our new life together.
Next: married life
[i-1] [i-2] [i-3][i-4] [i-5] [i-6] [i-7] [i-8] [i-9]
Friday, September 30, 2011
for 17 years: wedding details...i-9
So, we set the wedding date for August 6th and began to get down to details.
Groomsmen and bridesmaids to notify. Colors to choose. A dress to find. Food. Cake. Photographer. Invitations. Guest list. Music. Musicians. Other participants.
I also needed to finish school and graduate. Funny how all of my classes suddenly lost priority and I got my first B in Spanish. Sheesh. The things love will do to a girl. ;-)
Our parents were great. My mom helped me endlessly, making phone calls, tracking down reception food, setting up appointments, helping me make decisions, etc. Lee's mom made our pew bows - huge, beautiful bows that took lots of time and patience to make. Our dads did the dad thing and handed us the checkbook. Ha!
[Interestingly, both sets of parents celebrated 25 years of marriage the year we got married. That seemed like such a long time back then. Now it is within sight which also means one of our children could have a wedding going on in not too many years...Help!]
Lee decided to compose the bulk of the music for our wedding - processional, recessional, etc. His buddies from trombone choir played the song for me to walk down the aisle to and other musically talented friends played a piece for woodwind quartet. Lee opted to play the song he wrote for me himself (the highlight of the wedding, to be sure!).
I don't remember too many stressful moments leading up to our big day. There was some tension when we went to register...Lee thought we should register for a computer and be done with it...forget the china and towels and bedding and household items. I adamantly vetoed that idea.
Next: the big day
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Groomsmen and bridesmaids to notify. Colors to choose. A dress to find. Food. Cake. Photographer. Invitations. Guest list. Music. Musicians. Other participants.
I also needed to finish school and graduate. Funny how all of my classes suddenly lost priority and I got my first B in Spanish. Sheesh. The things love will do to a girl. ;-)
Our parents were great. My mom helped me endlessly, making phone calls, tracking down reception food, setting up appointments, helping me make decisions, etc. Lee's mom made our pew bows - huge, beautiful bows that took lots of time and patience to make. Our dads did the dad thing and handed us the checkbook. Ha!
[Interestingly, both sets of parents celebrated 25 years of marriage the year we got married. That seemed like such a long time back then. Now it is within sight which also means one of our children could have a wedding going on in not too many years...Help!]
Lee decided to compose the bulk of the music for our wedding - processional, recessional, etc. His buddies from trombone choir played the song for me to walk down the aisle to and other musically talented friends played a piece for woodwind quartet. Lee opted to play the song he wrote for me himself (the highlight of the wedding, to be sure!).
I don't remember too many stressful moments leading up to our big day. There was some tension when we went to register...Lee thought we should register for a computer and be done with it...forget the china and towels and bedding and household items. I adamantly vetoed that idea.
Next: the big day
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Thursday, September 29, 2011
...we resume your regularly scheduled program
Wow. I did not expect blogging to get derailed for so long. My apologies to those of you waiting with baited breath for the next installment of the Lee-Heather story ([i-1] [i-2] [i-3][i-4] [i-5] [i-6] [i-7]). I'll get right back to that.
We had a delightful 17th anniversary celebration in Austin - dinner at Zocalos followed by dessert on the roof of the flagship Whole Foods store ending with a walk down 6th street where we were stopped and asked to please dance "the Bernie" for a video scavenger hunt...
Then a week at Laity Lodge Family Camp where we relaxed and reconnected as a family while enjoying the Frio River Canyon and all the fun that family camp just is. (Red-Neck Games? Heck, yeah!)
Upon our return from camp, Lee's mom took a real downturn. We knew that her health was deteriorating rapidly and that we might even get a call during camp. But she held out until we got back. Suzanne got to watch a few Shirley Temple clips with her. We sang hymns to her, prayed over her, and said our good-byes...not sure which day would be our last with her.
Finally on Wednesday, August 17th, she peacefully stepped out of here and into the arms of Jesus. The kids and I had stopped by earlier that morning as the hospice nurse had alerted Lee to a change in breathing that indicated the time of her passing was most likely hours away. We cried as we prayed one last time with her, holding her hand and reeassuring her once again of our love for her.
Then we went swimming.
It's strange, but that is indeed where we went. Heavy hearts, wondering if maybe we should have stayed, but kids have a way of helping life to keep moving, so live we did.
On our way home, Lee called. Said it was over. Lee, his brother, his sister, and his dad were all with her as she slipped away. She was surrounded by those she loved most.
Thus began the next stage of grief. We had all been grieving for quite some time as she gradually lost mobility and memory. But there's just something about the finality of death. Lee and I both remarked that while we knew intellectually, short of a miracle, she was not ever going to recover to her former self, it wasn't until she died that we realized that we had held a bit of hope that she just might.
We had lots of family time together...telling stories, laughing, planning her service, remembering, connecting and reconnecting.
We miss her.
So, next post will be the continuation of our story, but to close I leave you with the eulogy I had the honor of giving at my mother-in-law's memorial service:
Bonnie Sue Stulken Harbaugh, or GeeMa as the grandkids affectionately call her, was one of the kindest, most loving people I have ever known and I am so blessed to have had her as my mother-in-law.
I know that there are many mother-in-law horror stories, but I have none of those to tell. You see, if Bonnie was anything, she was gracious and hospitable to all who had occasion to cross her doorstep. Whether it was Sunday dinner or a Thanksgiving meal or Christmas Day, she had a knack for making you feel welcomed, loved and part of the family. She wanted everyone to feel included and that most often happened in her kitchen and around her table.
I remember one of the first times I went over for Sunday dinner. She fixed a roast with potatoes and carrots, probably green beans with dill, maybe a jello salad, and some sort of delicious dessert coupled with Blue Bell ice cream…funny, when we were sitting around this week talking about our memories of Bonnie, many of them revolved around the food she would serve: buckeyes, More, Bagel Bites, Pizza, trash, popovers, cornbread dressing…
She loved to have people over. She loved to celebrate birthdays, holidays, and normal days. Even when she worked 12 hour days, she still delighted to host gatherings and knew which foods were must haves and was sure to carve out time to make them from scratch. She always had a yellow notepad with her list of things to do and the timeline carefully noted in her neat handwriting, so that each detail would be taken care of.
Time and time again she demonstrated a life of selfless giving. I watched first as she loved her sons, encouraging them in their interests (well, mostly – I think bull riding as a career stretched her a bit), embracing their friends and welcoming all of us into her home with open arms, welcoming me into her heart as she realized I was the special someone in her son’s life.
I watched her as she made 40+ bows, loop after loop formed by hands already tired from a day of wrapping gifts and making bows for customer’s packages. These bows beautifully adorned the pews on our wedding day.
I watched her as she cared for her sister, quick to be by her side no matter what. I watched her love her father, inviting him to live with them as it became necessary for him to not live alone anymore.
I watched her love her husband, working side-by-side with him for countless hours, miming turning the volume knob when he was getting a little loud (although the Harbaughs really only know one volume), always respecting, always loving, always kind, always gracious, nary a contrary word between the two.
I watched her faithfully, graciously serve the customers at the mail store, wrapping each gift with great care and artistic flare, carefully typing documents, patiently explaining cost of shipping and time til delivery. I watched her serve the kind ones and the not so kind ones (the ones that came in at closing and wanted their packages wrapped and shipped yesterday) without so much of a complaint or negative word about them.
I watched her fall in love with each grandchild that came into her world. With each pregnancy of mine, she would exclaim her joy at adding another grandchild and told me she would always welcome more. I never felt criticized or judged, though oftentimes the choices for our family were different from what she knew or grew up with. She embraced me the same way she embraced her own, always treating me as a daughter…not just a daughter-in-law.
She loved carrying on the Friday night pizza tradition with her grandkids. She encouraged each one with words and actions, always seeming to know which little toy from her run to the grocery store would be successful with the grandkids. She understood the importance of every child having a gift to open at birthday parties – not just the birthday child. She would get down on the floor and play with the kids or read to them. She let them take turns spending the night, serving fun snacks like cheezits with marshmallows, putting a little bell by the bed so that she could be summoned if something was needed during the night.
I watched as her health began to decline and she needed more and more assistance with everyday tasks. I watched as care givers would perform the most private of tasks and she would thank each one for their ministrations. Even when speaking became more difficult, it was rare for her to not express her appreciation for the care given her.
And as I watched, I have learned. I have learned that in the end, a life lived in selfless service to those around me is indeed a life well-lived. I am confident that as Bonnie stepped from this world into the arms of Jesus, He said to her: Well done, my good and faithful servant. You did nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. In humility you valued others above yourself and looked to the interests of others rather than your own. Well done. Well done.
We miss her. We miss her laugh, her “whoohoo”, her songs and her stories…the meals around the table. But I know that she now is healed and whole in the presence of the One she served so faithfully with her whole life. And I encourage each us of to carry on her legacy of loving, giving and serving that we might honor her memory until the day we meet again in Heaven.
We had a delightful 17th anniversary celebration in Austin - dinner at Zocalos followed by dessert on the roof of the flagship Whole Foods store ending with a walk down 6th street where we were stopped and asked to please dance "the Bernie" for a video scavenger hunt...
Then a week at Laity Lodge Family Camp where we relaxed and reconnected as a family while enjoying the Frio River Canyon and all the fun that family camp just is. (Red-Neck Games? Heck, yeah!)
Upon our return from camp, Lee's mom took a real downturn. We knew that her health was deteriorating rapidly and that we might even get a call during camp. But she held out until we got back. Suzanne got to watch a few Shirley Temple clips with her. We sang hymns to her, prayed over her, and said our good-byes...not sure which day would be our last with her.
Finally on Wednesday, August 17th, she peacefully stepped out of here and into the arms of Jesus. The kids and I had stopped by earlier that morning as the hospice nurse had alerted Lee to a change in breathing that indicated the time of her passing was most likely hours away. We cried as we prayed one last time with her, holding her hand and reeassuring her once again of our love for her.
Then we went swimming.
It's strange, but that is indeed where we went. Heavy hearts, wondering if maybe we should have stayed, but kids have a way of helping life to keep moving, so live we did.
On our way home, Lee called. Said it was over. Lee, his brother, his sister, and his dad were all with her as she slipped away. She was surrounded by those she loved most.
Thus began the next stage of grief. We had all been grieving for quite some time as she gradually lost mobility and memory. But there's just something about the finality of death. Lee and I both remarked that while we knew intellectually, short of a miracle, she was not ever going to recover to her former self, it wasn't until she died that we realized that we had held a bit of hope that she just might.
We had lots of family time together...telling stories, laughing, planning her service, remembering, connecting and reconnecting.
We miss her.
So, next post will be the continuation of our story, but to close I leave you with the eulogy I had the honor of giving at my mother-in-law's memorial service:
Bonnie Sue Stulken Harbaugh, or GeeMa as the grandkids affectionately call her, was one of the kindest, most loving people I have ever known and I am so blessed to have had her as my mother-in-law.
I know that there are many mother-in-law horror stories, but I have none of those to tell. You see, if Bonnie was anything, she was gracious and hospitable to all who had occasion to cross her doorstep. Whether it was Sunday dinner or a Thanksgiving meal or Christmas Day, she had a knack for making you feel welcomed, loved and part of the family. She wanted everyone to feel included and that most often happened in her kitchen and around her table.
I remember one of the first times I went over for Sunday dinner. She fixed a roast with potatoes and carrots, probably green beans with dill, maybe a jello salad, and some sort of delicious dessert coupled with Blue Bell ice cream…funny, when we were sitting around this week talking about our memories of Bonnie, many of them revolved around the food she would serve: buckeyes, More, Bagel Bites, Pizza, trash, popovers, cornbread dressing…
She loved to have people over. She loved to celebrate birthdays, holidays, and normal days. Even when she worked 12 hour days, she still delighted to host gatherings and knew which foods were must haves and was sure to carve out time to make them from scratch. She always had a yellow notepad with her list of things to do and the timeline carefully noted in her neat handwriting, so that each detail would be taken care of.
Time and time again she demonstrated a life of selfless giving. I watched first as she loved her sons, encouraging them in their interests (well, mostly – I think bull riding as a career stretched her a bit), embracing their friends and welcoming all of us into her home with open arms, welcoming me into her heart as she realized I was the special someone in her son’s life.
I watched her as she made 40+ bows, loop after loop formed by hands already tired from a day of wrapping gifts and making bows for customer’s packages. These bows beautifully adorned the pews on our wedding day.
I watched her as she cared for her sister, quick to be by her side no matter what. I watched her love her father, inviting him to live with them as it became necessary for him to not live alone anymore.
I watched her love her husband, working side-by-side with him for countless hours, miming turning the volume knob when he was getting a little loud (although the Harbaughs really only know one volume), always respecting, always loving, always kind, always gracious, nary a contrary word between the two.
I watched her faithfully, graciously serve the customers at the mail store, wrapping each gift with great care and artistic flare, carefully typing documents, patiently explaining cost of shipping and time til delivery. I watched her serve the kind ones and the not so kind ones (the ones that came in at closing and wanted their packages wrapped and shipped yesterday) without so much of a complaint or negative word about them.
I watched her fall in love with each grandchild that came into her world. With each pregnancy of mine, she would exclaim her joy at adding another grandchild and told me she would always welcome more. I never felt criticized or judged, though oftentimes the choices for our family were different from what she knew or grew up with. She embraced me the same way she embraced her own, always treating me as a daughter…not just a daughter-in-law.
She loved carrying on the Friday night pizza tradition with her grandkids. She encouraged each one with words and actions, always seeming to know which little toy from her run to the grocery store would be successful with the grandkids. She understood the importance of every child having a gift to open at birthday parties – not just the birthday child. She would get down on the floor and play with the kids or read to them. She let them take turns spending the night, serving fun snacks like cheezits with marshmallows, putting a little bell by the bed so that she could be summoned if something was needed during the night.
I watched as her health began to decline and she needed more and more assistance with everyday tasks. I watched as care givers would perform the most private of tasks and she would thank each one for their ministrations. Even when speaking became more difficult, it was rare for her to not express her appreciation for the care given her.
And as I watched, I have learned. I have learned that in the end, a life lived in selfless service to those around me is indeed a life well-lived. I am confident that as Bonnie stepped from this world into the arms of Jesus, He said to her: Well done, my good and faithful servant. You did nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. In humility you valued others above yourself and looked to the interests of others rather than your own. Well done. Well done.
We miss her. We miss her laugh, her “whoohoo”, her songs and her stories…the meals around the table. But I know that she now is healed and whole in the presence of the One she served so faithfully with her whole life. And I encourage each us of to carry on her legacy of loving, giving and serving that we might honor her memory until the day we meet again in Heaven.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
We interrupt this program...
...to wish my wonderful husband of 17 years a very happy anniversary.
17 years ago today I was starting to get ready for the biggest day of my life:
- fixing my hair
- eating breakfast
- doing last minute things with my sisters
- savoring the final moments with my parents before entering marriage
- relishing the thought of starting my new life with Lee
Lee is everything I could have ever hoped for in a marriage partner and more.
He is an extraordinary dad to our children and grows in his role every day with lots of grace
He is a good son-in-law for my dad who only had daughters (and now also has 3 sons-in-law to do boy things with, plus 3 nephews...)
He is an exemplary friend of many
He is a faithful, hardworking employee
He is an excellent provider as a result
He is my best friend and lover
He is a most loving, kind, and generous husband in every way
He is gentle and patient, oh so very patient
He is easy-going and caring
He is musically brilliant
He is humble, never flaunting his brilliance ever
He is motivated and self-disciplined
And I could go on and on and on about this man who has been rocking my world these last 17+ years and who will be rocking it for the rest of our lives.
I love you, Funny. You are the best of all time!!! Happy 17th. I don't know what the future holds for us, but I know that I want to go into it with you by my side.
[...this progam will resume after some celebrating of said anniversary and some family time...see you in a few days!]
17 years ago today I was starting to get ready for the biggest day of my life:
- fixing my hair
- eating breakfast
- doing last minute things with my sisters
- savoring the final moments with my parents before entering marriage
- relishing the thought of starting my new life with Lee
Lee is everything I could have ever hoped for in a marriage partner and more.
He is an extraordinary dad to our children and grows in his role every day with lots of grace
He is a good son-in-law for my dad who only had daughters (and now also has 3 sons-in-law to do boy things with, plus 3 nephews...)
He is an exemplary friend of many
He is a faithful, hardworking employee
He is an excellent provider as a result
He is my best friend and lover
He is a most loving, kind, and generous husband in every way
He is gentle and patient, oh so very patient
He is easy-going and caring
He is musically brilliant
He is humble, never flaunting his brilliance ever
He is motivated and self-disciplined
And I could go on and on and on about this man who has been rocking my world these last 17+ years and who will be rocking it for the rest of our lives.
I love you, Funny. You are the best of all time!!! Happy 17th. I don't know what the future holds for us, but I know that I want to go into it with you by my side.
[...this progam will resume after some celebrating of said anniversary and some family time...see you in a few days!]
Thursday, August 4, 2011
for 17 years: wedding talk...i-8
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Back before we were "officially" talking marriage, Lee was asked to play piano for the George Strait song "I Cross My Heart" at a friend's wedding.
[Funny story: Lee had sworn to himself (kind of like he swore off romantic relationships) that he'd never date a girl who liked country music. He got in my car and 5 out of the 6 radio stations were set to country!]
As the friend's wedding drew closer, the vocalist backed out, so the groom asked Lee if he would also sing the song. Lee begrudgingly agreed only for the sake of the friendship. When I heard him practicing, I said "Hon, you'll have to sing that at our wedding someday." Did you ever see such a grimace?!?
Not long after, Lee said he had something to show me. He took me to one of the practice rooms at UTA, sat down at the piano and began to sing me the song he had decided to write for our wedding. He wasn't about to sing someone else's song!
I just found the original note he wrote the lyrics on. It's dated 9/14/93 (guess we were talking marriage a little sooner than I remembered) and it says: "To my honey Heather whom I love and cherish very much. I love you. Lee. P.S. This is for our wedding!" Lyrics included below for your reading pleasure.
"I Thank My God for You" by Lee Harbaugh
From the day that I first met you
You've had a place in my heart
So what the Lord has set in place
Let no one pull apart
The Lord has been so kind to me
To bless me with someone like you
I never thought that I'd ever meet
Someone as lovely as you
You are the treasure in my life
You are the gleam in my eye
So from this day til eternity
I give to you all of my heart
'Cause I love you
Yes, I love you
And I thank my God for you
I love you
And with this vow I pledge to you
To love and see you through
All the time both good and bad
We'll be as one in the Lord
Next: wedding details
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Wednesday, August 3, 2011
For 17 years: the proposal...i-7
As our relationship progressed, I realized that I might not be going back to Spain to stay for an extended time anytime soon, so I made plans to go over Christmas break. This was the catalyst to us having yet another DTR - this one including the "m" word: mahwag.
We officially decided without officially making it official that we were going to get married...sometime in August sounded good and we'd discuss the particulars when I got back from my trip.
It kind of blew my Hollywood marriage-talk/proposal image out of the water. It always seemed the girl was completely taken by surprise by the marriage proposal - as if getting married was something she hopes for but is not quite sure he thinks so too...until he pops the question.
But this conversation happened in the normal course of our time together...no surprises, no gasps of joy or fireworks or fanfare.
Now, mind you, this was not the official proposal. This was just the conversation that would eventually lead up to a proposal. But anyway...
I went to Spain for 3 weeks. This was pre-email, so Lee would fax me letters to a friend's business over there, and we would talk on the phone every couple of days. I told all of my friends about him and of our upcoming unofficial wedding date.
When I told a couple that had been spiritual leaders in my life, they handed me a $100 bill that someone had given them as a gift. They trusted me and my discernment and wanted to show their support. It was like Spanish kiss from God on this choice which would, at least for a time, keep me far away from my beloved heartland.
Upon returning from Spain, Lee and I went ring shopping. Someone had suggested we could find something reasonably priced at Gold and Silver Exchange. So that's where we went. I'll never forget the owner and his employee helping us look over rings. They told us: "We see a lot of people come in here, looking to get engaged. And we can usually tell if they're going to make it or not. You're going to make it. We're sure of it."
Nice to get a stranger's vote of confidence. Seriously. Another kiss from the Lord.
Knowing we had the rings, I kept reminding Lee that he would need to propose...and make it special. I must've nagged a bit because after reminding him probably for the 100th time, he turned to me and said: "What I'm going to do is just hand it to you on your back porch some day. That will be good enough."
My heart sunk. I just did not think he was capable of making it as special as I thought it needed to be. That whole Hollywood image and all.
One Sunday afternoon, February 13th to be exact, 1 year minus 1 day from the day he gave me that balloon, Lee was driving me home from church and asked if I'd like to take a walk in the park after while. I didn't have anything going that afternoon, so I agreed, and we arranged for him to pick me up in a couple of hours.
We went to River Legacy, one of our favorite places to take walks, and headed down the long trail. We talked about this and about that. I gave him a Spanish lesson which he dutifully engaged in. He took me on a side trip off the trail to explore and then back on the main trail again.
As we neared the end of the trail, I saw what looked like a group of musicians standing around with their instruments. I was turning to point it out to Lee when the musicians started to play. I turned back to the instruments and began to focus on the crowd behind the musicians, recognizing the faces of our friends from the campus ministry house, our parents, my sister, other friends...
And then there was Lee, down on one knee, ring in hand. He says:
"Well, here we are. Will you marry me?"
Shocked (not by the question but by the elaborate proposal I had just witnessed) I said, "Yes!" We hugged and kissed and faced the crowd of onlookers who were cheering and clapping.
You got to know I was feeling a bit sheepish after worrying it might not be special...
Lee had written out "Kiss the Girl" from Little Mermaid for a trombone quartet and asked his buddies to meet with him to practice (this is what he was doing between the time he dropped me off at home and picking me up to go for a walk) and then to come play for us at the park - walking a mile+ just to get to the spot. He arranged for our friends and families to come (also making the mile+ hike), orchestrating the timing of our walk so that it would all be in place by the time we got to the end of the trail.
And that little "off trail" jaunt? Just ahead of us, he could see the musicians hurrying with their cases, and he needed to do something quickly to distract my attention. :-)
For some reason or other, all of Lee's attempts to arrange for "hi-tech" equipment to capture the event on film went haywire - dead batteries I think were largely the culprit. Thankfully, Lee's mom had a disposable camera with her. Low tech and all, she captured the moment for us.
So while Lee may have seemed clueless when it came to planning a romantic proposal, he was anything but.
next: "wedding talk"
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We officially decided without officially making it official that we were going to get married...sometime in August sounded good and we'd discuss the particulars when I got back from my trip.
It kind of blew my Hollywood marriage-talk/proposal image out of the water. It always seemed the girl was completely taken by surprise by the marriage proposal - as if getting married was something she hopes for but is not quite sure he thinks so too...until he pops the question.
But this conversation happened in the normal course of our time together...no surprises, no gasps of joy or fireworks or fanfare.
Now, mind you, this was not the official proposal. This was just the conversation that would eventually lead up to a proposal. But anyway...
I went to Spain for 3 weeks. This was pre-email, so Lee would fax me letters to a friend's business over there, and we would talk on the phone every couple of days. I told all of my friends about him and of our upcoming unofficial wedding date.
When I told a couple that had been spiritual leaders in my life, they handed me a $100 bill that someone had given them as a gift. They trusted me and my discernment and wanted to show their support. It was like Spanish kiss from God on this choice which would, at least for a time, keep me far away from my beloved heartland.
Upon returning from Spain, Lee and I went ring shopping. Someone had suggested we could find something reasonably priced at Gold and Silver Exchange. So that's where we went. I'll never forget the owner and his employee helping us look over rings. They told us: "We see a lot of people come in here, looking to get engaged. And we can usually tell if they're going to make it or not. You're going to make it. We're sure of it."
Nice to get a stranger's vote of confidence. Seriously. Another kiss from the Lord.
Knowing we had the rings, I kept reminding Lee that he would need to propose...and make it special. I must've nagged a bit because after reminding him probably for the 100th time, he turned to me and said: "What I'm going to do is just hand it to you on your back porch some day. That will be good enough."
My heart sunk. I just did not think he was capable of making it as special as I thought it needed to be. That whole Hollywood image and all.
One Sunday afternoon, February 13th to be exact, 1 year minus 1 day from the day he gave me that balloon, Lee was driving me home from church and asked if I'd like to take a walk in the park after while. I didn't have anything going that afternoon, so I agreed, and we arranged for him to pick me up in a couple of hours.
We went to River Legacy, one of our favorite places to take walks, and headed down the long trail. We talked about this and about that. I gave him a Spanish lesson which he dutifully engaged in. He took me on a side trip off the trail to explore and then back on the main trail again.
As we neared the end of the trail, I saw what looked like a group of musicians standing around with their instruments. I was turning to point it out to Lee when the musicians started to play. I turned back to the instruments and began to focus on the crowd behind the musicians, recognizing the faces of our friends from the campus ministry house, our parents, my sister, other friends...
And then there was Lee, down on one knee, ring in hand. He says:
"Well, here we are. Will you marry me?"
Shocked (not by the question but by the elaborate proposal I had just witnessed) I said, "Yes!" We hugged and kissed and faced the crowd of onlookers who were cheering and clapping.
You got to know I was feeling a bit sheepish after worrying it might not be special...
Lee had written out "Kiss the Girl" from Little Mermaid for a trombone quartet and asked his buddies to meet with him to practice (this is what he was doing between the time he dropped me off at home and picking me up to go for a walk) and then to come play for us at the park - walking a mile+ just to get to the spot. He arranged for our friends and families to come (also making the mile+ hike), orchestrating the timing of our walk so that it would all be in place by the time we got to the end of the trail. 
And that little "off trail" jaunt? Just ahead of us, he could see the musicians hurrying with their cases, and he needed to do something quickly to distract my attention. :-)For some reason or other, all of Lee's attempts to arrange for "hi-tech" equipment to capture the event on film went haywire - dead batteries I think were largely the culprit. Thankfully, Lee's mom had a disposable camera with her. Low tech and all, she captured the moment for us.
So while Lee may have seemed clueless when it came to planning a romantic proposal, he was anything but.
next: "wedding talk"
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